Sunday, January 11, 2009

Tthe Eyelash Gods are Smiling

Are you amazed by these double extend beauty tubes from L'oreal? I swear, I would go buy that mascara even if it was like $25 because I could totally use some beauty tubes for my left eyelashes. My right eyelashes are OK. Not exactly as cool as they were before I had kids, but they're OK. It's true, the eyelashes on my left eye are one of the sacrifices I made to have these daughters. I'm sure that somewhere along the line I must have said something stupid like “I'd give my left eyelashes if only bla bla bla happened.” Anyways, my apologies to my friends in Mary kay. You have to admit that those beauty tubes are genius. Did you see the animation in the commercial, they have special fibers that surround each lash individually and create salon quality lash extensions. Did you even know that salons did lash extensions? That's lame, really I'd never get salon lash extensions, and even if I did spend $25 on a tube of mascara it would probably last me like 25 years, because I never remember to wear makeup. Well, I guess my kids would wear it. And they don't really need longer lashes. I don't even know that it's $25, it might be more like $10. I'm going to keep my eyes open for sales and coupons. And maybe I'll get one of those medieval looking eyelash curlers. Here's some me-trivia; I have never ever used one. They look scary. I just figured out how they work though, I worked it all out in my head after watching that makeup artist show on TV. Anyways, I just wanted to talk about those beauty tubes. They're absolutely genius. And did you see the way they just pop off into a curved little cone, like are they not water-soluble? OMG, I hope they're waterproof . I cry too much to wear non water-proof mascara. OMG, that would just ruin everything. The insanity behind making that mascara non waterproof would totally undo all of the genius that I credited them with before it occurred to me that they might have screwed it up. So OK, it's a good idea but let's just see if they really pulled it off. I've got my eyes on you, L'oreal. Just be warned. I'll let you know, ladies.

This is just one of Mrs Hannigan's blogs.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Long Hair and other Dangerous Things

I'm glad you were so amused by my microbead horror experience. I'm here today to share the dangers of having very long hair.

When a strand of hair falls out of a long haired person's head, it has a bit of a journey to make.

With short hair, the hair breaks free at the scalp and jumps to safety onto the next nearest surface, carefree and relaxed without a trace.

When long hair falls out, though, it breaks free at the scalp and can hang out there, undetected for a while. Supported by all its neighbors, a long hair simply slides down down, looking for a while like one extra long strand, when in reality it's trying to shimmy down away from its friends.

So- back to the shower.
Water can help that shimmying.

In the shower, the hair descends down down, right between the cheeks of the poor long haired person who gave it life.

As a payback, or maybe because the little dying hair is resentful, it rests somewhere there, between the cheeks. As those cheeks move, while walking or exercising or something, that strand of hair gets rolled up into a little tiny ball that's a lot like an SOS pad.

You didn't know that, did you?

So let me reiterate the RINSE WELL message.

It's THAT important.

This is just one of Mrs Hannigan's blogs.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Microbead Dangers, Disappearing navels and More

Reposted from the regular Mrs Hannigan Blog

#1 Mederma is really awesome at removing stretch marks, my navel looks almost like new and, in spite of my fear that it would disappear, I still have a navel. In case you wondered. I've been using it for like a month now and the explosion scars are almost gone.

#2 NEVER EVER EVER EVER use a body wash with microbeads. There are places microbeads do not belong. If you're using this stuff on your whole body, then you might end up with a microbead trapped in between places that likely don't need exfoliating. Microbeads suck as exfoliators anyways. Baking soda, however is an awesome exfoliator that kicks the BUTT of commercial "microdermabrasion" products. Anyways- if you choose to use a body wash with microbeads, take the time to RINSE your nether regions very very thoroughly, or halfway through the day you might get concerned about a certain unfamiliar pain and have to discover that the microbead has scratched a hole in your crotch. Don't say I didn't warn you.

#3 It's true about pimples going away faster if you don't mess with them. I never believed it, but last week I had a pimple. It looked like a boil, really, on my jawbone. I was kind of busy, so I put a band-aid over it and forgot about it. It disappeared. OK, it almost disappeared, and then I started messing with it and now it's a little messed up but still- it's leaving way faster than the ones I "helped"

#4 Change your pillowcase frequently because when you sleep, all kinds of things from your dirty face, slobber, your hair, and the air, your dog if you have one, cat, dirty kids, etc all gets stuck between the fibers of your pillowcase and when you sleep, they get ground into your pores. That is the #1 thing you can do to help your skin. And if you know me, you know I'm not a frequent pimple-getter, so trust me on this one.

That's all for today. Please don't forget #2. You really don't want that to happen.

This is just one of Mrs Hannigan's blogs.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Beauty like Amanda Peet

Beauty like Amanda Peet can be yours. All you need to do is have a baby, because motherhood is so beautiful. This might be the only non-sarcastic thing I will write here. Motherhood is beautiful, OK.

Then- you need to go to a party where Dr Paul Oft of the American Academy of Pediatrics talks your ear off about how harmless and wonderful vaccinations are and that Jenny McCarthy is wrong to speak out against them.

Have a few drinks, so you can digest the bullshit he's shoving down your throat. If it starts to creep you out, try to forget that he's paid millions of dollars each year by drug companies who produce these vaccines. Really, he's unbiased. Just look deeply into his eyes.

Think of your career. No one really knows who you are. How pretty is that?

Then- when the drug-company funded "Every child by two" campaign asks you to be a spokes person, say yes.

Then, you can get a makeover from backstage television people and go on TV promoting an agenda that harms children, but at least you'll be pretty.


Note to Amanda- You advised us to not listen to you because you are a celebrity spokesperson (even though I had never heard of you until today) You advised us to listen to Doctors. So, rather than listen to Doctors who were in bed with drug company research programs, I decided to listen to unbiased doctors, like Richard Moskowitz M.D who calls vaccinations A Sacrament of Modern Medicine Richard Moxon, the Professor of Pediatrics at Oxford University, who advocates for unbiased research and Dr Bernard Rimland, director of the Autism Research Institute in California and Robert C. Reisinger, D.V.M., M.S. and Colette Leick-Welter, Ph.D. (N. H.) whose research found a link between vaccines and SIDS. There's also Dr Andrew J Wakefield MB MS FRCS whose research on the intestinal disorders of children with autism found a connection between the MMR vaccine and a specific immune reaction of these children. Or how about Dr Gary Goldman, CDC researcher whose inside information on the statistics that get skewed before they're released, prompted him to write the book The Chickenpox Vaccine: A New Epidemic of Disease and Corruption.

Doctors are, in fact, in agreement with parents. Not all doctors because in mediCULT school they aren't taught to question the authorities who write their books (drug companies) or pay for the government research programs (drug companies) In fact, these drug companies spend millions of dollars each year wining and dining doctors, to push the belief that vaccines are safe. And of course, Imagine how many less people would vaccinate if doctors encouraged parents to follow their instincts, or to only pay attention to unbiased research. Attorney, Michael Hugo agrees, stating that the "expert witnesses" who often testify that vaccines aren't to blame for various afflictions are actually employees of the drug companies. Therefore, it's in their interest to WIN the lawsuit, not to find the honest truth about the well-being of a child. That's a parent's job.

You might wonder- how come the lawmakers let them get away with this? Well, Rep. Robin Hayes, R-N.C., one of the wealthiest members of Congress, owned more than $11 million in drug stocks on Dec. 31, 1999 so don't expect Rep Robin Hayes to do bidding for children's well-being if it has a negative affect upon the drug companies. Also, Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner of Wisconsin owned shares worth $2.2 million to $7.1 million in five drug makers. He is the ranking Republican on a Judiciary subcommittee that often reviews patent legislation that can deliver windfalls to name-brand drug companies (Hmmm- sound like "One-less" to you?) And there's also Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., sits on the Senate Commerce Committee that likely will have a role in shaping any Medicare drug package, his wife Teresa, a Heinz family heiress, owned shares in eight drug companies worth $2.1 million to $4.2 million.And finally, the Grandaddy of evil, George W. Bush and his family have $62,000 to $234,000 in drug stocks, Dick Cheney $150,000 to $350,000, and the wife of Sen. Joe Lieberman, $15,000 to $50,000.

So before you are moved to tears by some heartwrenching television commercial funded by the government, know without a doubt that the drug companies OWN OUR GOVERNMENT. It is a conflict of interest to be sure, one spelled out quite clearly in an investigative report which calls it an incestuous relationship, (gasp- such foul talk)

"But this isn't the government, this is the American Academy of Pediatrics." Surprise- the American Academy of pediatrics is funded by DRUG COMPANIES and FORMULA MANUFACTURERS and how about "That study wasn't even published in the New England Journal of Medicine." Be careful. The NEJM is funded 83% by drug companies. What publisher in their right mind would want to lose so much of their ad sales? I think "Follow the Money offers a straightforward assessment.

Let me be very clear about this. This is the same government that has allowed the "no child left behind" act to further dumb-down our educational standards. The same government who advocates "The food pyramid" as real nutrition. Don't even get me started on WIC. Wouldn't it make sense that people who make money when you're sick probably ARE NOT the ones you should trust to keep you well?

I don't really care if people want to send their kids to school to be lemmings. I don't care if parents use government and drug-company propaganda to do their "research" and decide that vaccines are safe. But let's call a lemon a lemon and don't make me eat it. I hate lemons. Amanda Peet- you are a lemon.

This is just one of Mrs Hannigan's blogs.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

French Braid Pictorial

This is just one of Mrs Hannigan's blogs.

Make Beaded Hair Pins

Beaded bobby pins are such a cute idea, you can use a loop of beads, like the one pictured here, or you can just glue one pretty bead at the end of the bobby pin.

In these pictures, seed beads were threaded on a straight wire and looped through the end of a bobby pin.

after this point, the wire is pulled through and twisted to close.

This is just one of Mrs Hannigan's blogs.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Free Virtual Makeovers

Love those virtual makeovers. This one was really easy to use. It's from Mary Kay. Just take a picture of your face and upload it to the tool. You get to play with all sorts of new customized looks. Try it, it's fun. My teenage daughters had a blast with it.

This is just one of Mrs Hannigan's blogs.