Wednesday, April 16, 2008

30 day notice regarding Weight loss drugs

A while back I officially decided not to use the weight loss drugs recommended by the scatterbrained, boil-faced lady. I am, however, putting my body on a 30 day notice, starting today. If I am still a fat ass 30 days from now I will get a bottle of the super sexy slim stuff that D recommended even if she seemed a little crazed, I'd rather be crazed than fat. And J is doing just fine. Plus, J told me it's just some kind of sponge-sucking fiber that gets in your belly and makes you feel full while you're just drinking water, so it's no worse than regular anorexia, which works for me. Especially with 6 kids who need to eat. And in case you're wondering, starvation wouldn't affect breastmilk production, but dehydration would. And I can drink water, that's just fine.
I'm over the whole toxic water thing now. The only thing I'm not digging on is the acne, if I get a boil or zit because of this I'm going to be really upset. No amount of arched eyebrows or lip gloss will cover a pimple. And I like to wear my hair back. I better not get pimples because of this. If I did, I'd call it a blemish because it sounds prettier. I'd rather have a blemish than a zit or a pimple.

Lip gloss for weight loss

A little gloss on the lips can make you look fresher, cleaner and a little more kissable. Even if you are only putting a little vaseline to bring comfort to chapped lips, it can make you lose weight because when your lips hurt you don't want to eat. Especially smoked cheddar cheesy kettle corn from Popcorn Indiana. Whatever, you probably didn't need the popcorn anyways.

More than just a pretty smile

G2, because of some fantastic treatment by the amazing Dr Miller, totally wants to be a dentist when she grows up. I swear, her baby teeth were born with cavities, and she inherited her Daddy's sweet tooth. Plus he gives them candy almost every day. She went in for fillings when she was just three years old, and Dr Miller was so very kind and patient with her. Now, she's got a terrible abcess and she's in pain and her smile is so prety- she's losing baby teeth and growing grown-up teeth, but those baby molars are still giving us trouble. She lost a filling about a year ago and since we didn't have insurance, I didn't do anything about it. If I had used my brain for ten minutes I would have realized that without the filling there was a hole into the inside of her tooth, and that crap would get trapped there and that no amount of obsessive brushing would help but instead now she has an infection and it's all my fault. So today I spent the day doing paperwork so we can have insurance to cover her problems. It should be approved in 3 days, and I'm calling right now to make the appointment. Poor baby, her little mouth hurts and she's got a lump on her gums. Antibiotics will keep it from killing her, but the source of the problem needs to get fixed. Teeth are worth so much more than a pretty smile; oral health is very important. Take care of those choppers, and don't ignore lost fillings, OK. I mean it.

Grab your tweezers, girls

I just want to underscore here the importance of a properly arched eyebrow. I have been guilty of neglecting my eyebrows lately and I didn't realize what a negative effect it had. Spending time today plucking and arching my brows made me feel like an absolute princess. I look better, too. Makeup can do some good, too I am sure but having properly arched eyebrows is as important as being blemish free. That is, to say that on the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter one stinkin' bit what you look like, we all live and die and have to pay taxes, but when you look nice, people treat you better it's just a plain and simple fact. Angry, bushy mammoth eyebrows might be inspiring people to treat you like some kind of behemoth. SO go ahead, frumpy mammas, and give it a little arch. Even if you can only manage to do one side, you'll at least always look like you're interested in something if one eyebrow is raised. Notice my before and after pictures; In the before picture, baby is screaming and unhappy doubtless because her mother looks like a bushwoman. In the after picture, however, the baby is obviously happy and well adjusted, because her mommy isn't scary anymore (from the neck up)

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Cute bag (from a BAG loser)

Um yeah- I never hear these words, because I am a bag loser. But my friend Emily (first person I ever met with a real life Petunia Picklebottom diaper bag) is a handbag freak. A purse junkie. She's always got something stylish hanging from her elbow, (the baby sits ON the elbow, OK)

Anyhow- check out this contest we're entering on her behalf, from Babycakes Boutique. My favorite Babycakes bag is the Rosemary in Celery Swirls, and they have the cutest little Ballerina girls bag, too. Enjoy!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Inner Beauty Diva

One of my girls is in love with a boy, she's been infatuated with him for a log time. If she is nervous around him I haven't noticed. She invites him over all the time. He's a really nice kid, He calls me ma'am. Instead of primping and getting all goofy girly whenever she sees him (OK she does that, too) She has decided that she is going to make herself learn impressive words in order to win his heart. Ok- she didn't say that was the goal but she did mention that he uses big words. She's memorizing a list of "impressive words" from her "Dangerous book for Girls" it's adorable. Now if I had gotten out some vocabulary book and told her to memorize a list of words she would have lit it on fire or something. I'm hoping his interest in Physics and Math inspires her to try and impress him on that level, too.